it’s been a beautiful sunday
it is the first entirely painfree day i’ve had in quite some time
i am grateful for the painkiller (lol)
it is nice to have a day that i can be clear with my thoughts

everything about most of my physical life is in limbo
and there’s something freeing about that
everything is in the air, so it’s impossible for me to have answers
it is the first time, ever, that my body is a priority

my loved ones are taking care of me (receiving unconditional love in daily practice: another new lesson)
but, first and foremost, i am taking care of me: without apology
it is a new feeling.
‘No’ and ‘I’m not up to that’ are like new words to me, but i’m saying them

the blessing of experiencing pain has been incredible
learning to listen to it and hear what it is saying
how to communicate with it and feeling what it really is
not resisting, but integrating it and honoring it

what gifts james cleveland and aretha franklin have been (i compare them to chicken noodle soup)
artists i’ve always loved, but never had such deep communion with
perhaps because they had/have such a grasp on the reality of life and faith
their music honors the wealth of our emotional and spiritual paths, without apology

as i can, i’m reading about death & rebirth
the emotional and spiritual roots of the physical things i am walking through
i am so assured it is right & good: it’s for my growing
everything that felt dead inside is gestating and stirring (these dry bones can live!)

i am on the road home